i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
