my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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