There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
