i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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