if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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