I faked an abortion last night.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
