but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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