Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
