You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I have aggressive nipples.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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