I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
