I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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