True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
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I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
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Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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