i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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