I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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