I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
