theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
