I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
