i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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