tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
