true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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