It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize