Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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