The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
