I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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