Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
