I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
