this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
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at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
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I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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