I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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