the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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