Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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