I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
