i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I lost the right to judge tonight
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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