There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
