Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
