Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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