About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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