yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
