haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
