I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
