I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
