Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize