I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
