If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
