3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
