Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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