you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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