Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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