i just wanna soil my oats bro
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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