By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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