he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
