So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
