I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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