This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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