Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
