Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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