Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
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